Step 7 – “Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings”

Humility is a trait that few alcoholics have familiarity with. We are usually either feeling humiliation or superiority, two-sides of the egocentric self. Humility, or being right-sized, was an experience that felt foreign to me when I first began to experience it. My black and white thinking only allowed me to be below everyone or above everyone. To stand and admit to others and myself that I was simply human with varied traits felt scary. But after completing a thorough fourth and fifth step, I recognized the futility of living with my defects and thinking. It was only after becoming rightsized that I was able to humbly approach my higher power and ask for my selfish and harmful shortcomings to be removed. Of course, this also requires me giving permission to my higher power to remove them entirely which is another scary step. What will life look like without being able to tell white lies? Or not being able to slack off at work? Or no longer gossiping or silently judging? If my higher power completely removes certain defects, how will I get what I want? This is when you circle back to the thorough work you’ve done in steps 1-5. My thinking, attitudes, values and behaviors have gotten me this far. Sometimes they benefited me but often they hurt me and others. If my higher power can remove my obsession and compulsion to use drugs and alcohol, am I willing to believe that it can remove other harmful patterns from my life? Step 7 is the answer to those questions of willingness and uncertainty. I am willing and humbly ask to be transformed into whoever my higher power would have me be. This doesn’t mean that I become someone else, lose my identity, don’t get to make decisions for myself or anything like that. It simply means that my higher power can step in and mold me into the kind of person to be of maximum service to the people around me, whatever that looks like. Character defects are ultimately based in self-centered fear, and while harmful, are not something to shame yourself over. In my experience, completing a seventh step means becoming free to be more of my true self and authentically connect with others while trusting that outcome will be ok.

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