There is a story in the Big Book which addresses expectations of others and how they lead to resentment. When my expectations of others don’t match up to the reality of their behavior towards me, I am liable to feel disrespected, insulted or otherwise discontented by them. This separates me from the people around me. It places my serenity in the hands of others and puts my self-worth in a dangerous position. When I begin to define myself by the way others treat me, I am taking myself off the spiritual path. I’ve learned that when others show you who they truly are, we must believe them. We must believe others without making their behavior about us. My behavior is about me, their behavior is about them. This is how we begin to take true accountability for ourselves and allow ourselves to be placed in realistic proportion to the people around us.
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