Posts

Enjoy the Journey

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves.

–Rainer Maria Rilke

We carry problems and discrepancies within us, quandaries that are not easily answered – and we have bigger questions about life and the world. Why did I act as I did in my younger years? Can my life partnership be happy again? How should I handle a secret that I carry? What is this thing we call Higher Power and God?

We are on a journey and, in some ways, this journey is a quest for answers. The questions give energy and direction to our seeking. We cannot expect to get quick or easy answers. And some questions will always remain just that: questions. But we can learn to be patient with ourselves, tolerant of our incompleteness, and always curious about how it will all turn out.

Today I will practice patience with myself and embrace my unsolved questions as crucial elements in my quest.

In sobriety, I have learned that I don’t need to know the answers. I am only in control of my own actions today. I am powerless over other people, places, and things. I am powerless over the outcome. I have power over my own actions. Therefore, I pray and meditate on a daily basis, ask for feedback and direction from friends and my Higher Power, then I surrender and let things play out. Everything always works out the way it’s supposed to. Living life and being on this journey is much more enjoyable when I surrender and let things play out.

Don’t take it Personally

Don’t take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering

Miguel Ruiz

In recovery and through working the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, I have learned that what other people do or say has nothing to do with me. I am powerless over people, places, and things. If I put energy on things that other people do, I am only hurting myself. When I put energy on things that other people do, that means I am trying to be in control. Being in control means that I start worrying about the outcome. This is a weight that I don’t need on my shoulders. As the saying goes, “acceptance is the answer to all of my problems’. Acceptance leads to happiness and freedom. I believe that everyone does the best that they can with the tools they have been given. Today, I do the very best that I can to make the right decisions and to keep my side of the street clean. This way of living makes life much easier and keeps me happy.

Into Action

As one goes through life, one learns that if you don’t paddle your own canoe, you don’t move.

–Katharine Hepburn

 

Newcomer

 

I appreciate the fact that you remain friendly and even-tempered even though I don’t always follow your advice.

 

Sponsor

 

Friends can disagree without having to end their relationship. I might have trouble sponsoring someone who never attends meetings, someone who has frequent relapses, or someone who complains about his or her problems without ever being willing to attempt the Steps. But occasional disagreements are a part of life.

 

A sponsor’s suggestions aren’t commands, any more than the Twelve Steps are. As a sponsor, I only make suggestions; even though they’re based on my experience, I’m not always right about what will work for another person. And I may misjudge what another person’s timetable is. I’m not infallible. I try not to let my ego get in the way, to feel hurt or angry when you need to try something on your own. Learning to make your own decisions is necessary to growth.

 

Each of us makes his or her own way through the process of recovery. We learn more from our own experiences, good and bad, than from anything we read in a book or hear at a meeting.

 

Today, I learn from my experience.

 

Everyone has their own path. My way is what worked for me. However, it does not mean that my way will work for anyone else. I used get upset if a sponsee or newcomer would not take my suggestions. I have learned not to be attached to another person’s actions. After all, I am powerless over people, places, and things. AA is a program of action and a program only works if you work it. So regardless of a person’s path, he or she must work a program if he/she wants to stay sober and if he/she wants to be happy, joyous, and free.